when it rains it pours

my dearest dearest jinny.. happy happy happy birthday to you on this day, the 27th anniversary of your entry into this world. your presence in my life has been a blessing through and through for the last thirteen years and i cannot thank you enough for being there for me through it all.. i wish you all the happiness this world has to offer to you this year!

the kyoto garden in holland park, notting hill gate, london



took a short stroll through holland park at notting hill gate the other day and while chilling in the kyoto garden with tess was immediately reminded of a tadao ando statement that i'd copied out recently out of one of akiko's japanese mags.

"i believe that creation emerges not from harmony but from the stimulation caused by the clash of foreigners, imposing itself and and creating dissonance. and those encounters with new worlds become a source of power in people's lives.

the urge to create and the anticipation of those encounters - they're the reasons i continue, despite the travails, to work abroad.."

-- tadao ando to wim wenders

this has been so true in my life... i have grown up an ethnic minority all my life and have always clamoured to know more about other cultures, other ways of living. this is my life, a constant exploration of something different, something new. the clashing dissonance of new encounters is what i crave, desire, live for...



what i see walking through my new hood


having now inhabited my new flat for an astonishing nine days all by my lonesome (with a couple of special guests along the way) without any music (aside from the tunes coming from my earphones), computer, internet or television in sight i have felt inspired to write again. after spending my day interviewing, meeting friends for lunch i usually arrive at home in the evening to cook a quiet dinner alone, before sipping doong gool lae tea, rolling some tobacco and sitting down to put pen to paper. i've been working through a screenplay for the last few years of my life, writing when inspiration strikes but such fanciful moments have been few and far between lately. i can see why so many of the best writers are also the ones who have suffered the most. i, having suffered very little in my life am not much of a writer but it is an enjoyable time for me, listening to my pen scratching the acid-free paper of my beloved white leather bound notebook that i developed while at caban. i've just read about a screenplay competition for a short film that is happening. the deadline is at the end of september and if for nothing else i am glad to have some sort of timeline to complete my screenplay since it's been a work-in-progress for the last five years of my life.

i have had a very promising and eventful day thus far. it is only 12:37 pm GWT but already i have lined up an interview and a six week temp job at a major international retailer. having all this time alone with myself i've finally been able to catch up with my thoughts. these past 7 weeks in london have humbled me greatly but until this week i could not quite admit it to myself. with all the problems i've encountered in trying to convince an employer to hire me despite my temporary visa situation, lack of UK experience and over-qualifications for 'junior' positions i continued to fight swallowing my pride and taking a low paying job in my industry. i decided just yesterday that any job i take now is a foot in the door and an opportunity to prove my capabilities/worth and in the last 24 hours since this change in my attitude the grass is looking very green indeed.

i'm not really sure how jason put up with my insane temporary mental breakdowns over our telephone conversations these past few weeks while we discuss the flat hunt, etc but i am thankful that i have had such a great venting board. now that he will be arriving on this side of the atlantic tomorrow evening i'm sure he is extremely excited that he will now get to hear all about my mental breakdowns face to face. i definitely have a penchance to over react but i am realizing that this is just my way. i am not really serious about it, but it is my way of facing my faults, my troubles head on. thankfully the people closest to me know that sometimes i just need to be humored and told that everything will be ok even if at the time there doesn't seem to be much of a sunny break in the cloudy sky. (just cringed a little bit writing out that metaphor. haha)

this past weekend in london saw the departure of the tour de france. over one and a half million people came to watch, and i got a sneak peek, though you can't really tell because i didn't get my camera out long enough to snap any racers! yes yes, i'm laaaaaaaaaaaame








a couple of my favourite moments from the last week..